Understanding how to be a good leader isn’t about authority, strategy, or endless meetings—it’s about the impact you have on the people around you.
True leadership comes from the small, meaningful moments that build trust, inspire confidence, and change lives.
I learned this lesson the hard way—through a conversation I never expected, with a leader I hardly knew. It all started with a cup of tea and a single decision that shaped my future.
A moment that changed everything
As a kid, I had been predicted to get 4 Cs at GCSE. I actually got:
7 Ds
1 E
1 G
The reason was pretty simple – I hung out with a naturally brilliant friend who never revised. So I never revised either.
My friend did fine. But on results day I was crying my eyes out.
I was terrified about telling my work I’d messed up, because I had an apprenticeship at Creda that had been based on those predicted results.
A good leader who stepped up
When I broke the news, they were amazing.
“Andy, you’ve brought so much to the business! We love your attitude, we’ll put you through NVQs, we’ll get you there, don’t you worry.”
I couldn’t believe it. But there was one boss called David (I wish I could remember his surname!) and we all thought he was brilliant and a little terrifying.
He smoked like a chimney and when he strode around the office everyone knew he was there. You couldn’t ignore this guy.
This same day, out of the blue, he pulled me to one side: “Andy, can I have a chat?”
Oh God, I thought. Here it comes.
David made me a cup of tea, sat me at a table and then spun a form around to me. “Sign this,” he said.
It was a Final Salary pension consent form. Not exactly a teenager’s priority. But I’m 17, I told him, I need every penny! “Trust me,” he said. “You’ll thank me for this.”
We never spoke again after that but it would be impossible to forget what he did for me. I always look back on the time he took to change my life – he was a senior director, he was busy, he had no reason or obligation to do this for me.
I progressed rapidly in the business, but that moment was probably one of the best things that ever happened.
And looking now at what that small gesture has achieved, he was right – I am endlessly thankful!
This was my first brush with what makes all the difference in a business:
Real supportive leadership.
What it means to be a good leader and change someone’s life
Once a month, surprise a random person in your business by giving them some of your own time.
Take them out for a coffee. Ask how they are. Ask how their job is going.
Ask them about their passions, their dreams. Ask where they want their job to take them.
Go beyond job titles, role descriptions and so on and delve into what they love doing and what they love about their job (or wish they could change).
Then, think about what you can do for them.
- Pay for a training course?
- Buy them a relevant book?
- Give them time at work to read or learn?
- Introduce them to someone?
It takes no time to have the conversation, and almost no time to take action on what you learn from them. But it’s always possible that they’ll remember that moment for the rest of their lives.
Being a good leader isn’t about commanding. It’s about listening.
The bad news:
Most managers aren’t leaders.
But here’s the good news:
They can be taught!
I work with managers from all levels of a business to build the empathy, self-awareness and big picture perspective that changes people’s lives.
Why should you care? Because real leaders make people happy, and when everyone in your business is happy you can be excited about the future.
You can start your escape from the day-to-day at my Leadership Development page, where there’s a breakdown of everything your managers can expect.
